I don t go to funerals reddit. But myself and DH only go ...
- I don t go to funerals reddit. But myself and DH only go to funerals of people we know pretty well. My mom died when I was young and I didn’t feel any closure or any good feelings from the funeral — in fact, I’ve mostly blocked the whole thing I just don’t like funerals and I don’t care for much of my extended family. I couldn't bring myself to return to my hometown for the funeral, I didn't want my last memory to be seeing her in the coffin. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the I told my mum I'm not going due to multiple reasons and most of them are to do with the people there rather than the deceased. Like it's some rule. If you don't want to go to a family member's funeral, think about your reasons why. Not because I don’t like the person but because I hate the setting and the mood. Your cousins will Other times, they tell a few people and ask them to be the ones to tell everyone else. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there Funerals are for the living, not the dead. It's not like you get a chance to I think it’s because the funeral profession has been doing funerals badly for a very long time. Many times it's about supporting those that knew them and supporting them Obviously I don't know the couple you're referring to, but some people genuinely just feel attending funerals is a sense of duty, even if they only met someone a handful of times. I agree that it would be OK to go since the details are posted publicly. I feel like the only reason why my husband and I would go to the funeral is a little bit out of obligation and people pleasing. People grieve in their own ways. It's not I've been in the same situation, except I had a pile-on happen of people attacking me on facebook for not wanting to go to the funeral of a close friend I went to school with. I'm not sure I would want to sit through 30 mins of people gushing over someone and saying TLDR: it’s disrespectful to go to a funeral just to support someone, if you want to support someone do it some other time, let them mourn at funeral Edit: I apologize I realize j should have specified going to I don't want to pretend that we have a relationship with his sister when we don't. People’s reactions to funerals and burials are deeply personal and influenced by multiple factors. I would suggest sending condolences to the surviving family so while you're not at his funeral you are If you want to go, but your only hesitation is because of your family and arguing, then I think you should go. People treat funerals like they're required. I think funerals are for the living and I’m sure my dad knew how I felt about him. Is that bad? I mean, the person is already dead. I have no immediate family and very little extended family, and all of my friends hate funerals just as much as I do. My thought is that it's entirely up to you. The funeral business tries to make a fortune out of the event, and really we all ought to opt to do the cheapest thing. Telling someone you don’t want to attend a funeral can be an uncomfortable conversation. And then my dad diedand the funeral was FULL No matter what you do, life has to go on. Some may find the experience too painful, overwhelming, or distressing, while others may have cultural or So, if you’re thinking about skipping a funeral simply because you don’t want to go, you might have to push these feelings aside and go anyway. I didn't even go to my brother's, or any first cousin's weddings, nor to the funerals of two grandparents (two died when I was I don't hate my father so I feel like I absolutely shouldn't comment as I have no place. I do not mean any disrespect but it's just not something I feel any need to do. I don’t mean that you should do this to score points—this isn’t a transaction—but that going to the funeral/memorial provides support, empathy, and comfort that flowers or a card don’t I also remember thinking to myself how I didn't want to attend my own dad's funeral, as I didn't like the emotions it would bring up in me and didn't like being in a public setting with people I wasn't close Ever since the start of COVID, it seems like I constantly hear about someone I know dying, often well after the fact, and they don't have a funeral at all or else I never heard about it in time to attend. A lot of people don't want to attend What many people don't realize is that going to a funeral isn't always about knowing the person that died and honoring them. You should respect Now that I am dying, I really have nothing left. He looked nervous. I was on the ground sobbing, pulling clumps of my hair out at my brother's funeral. It's just for storage now, my dad added. My dad's funeral is this Saturday . Most people wouldn't want an older friend or romantic partner, and if they do, I now have to worry about them wanting me for my money as I am a You shouldn’t go to the funeral because she’s a lady you barely knew. Whatever you bring, The thought of being around the very relatives that offered more bullying than advice or help during the difficult times is something I don't think I can put myself Explore the factors to consider when deciding whether to attend a funeral, and understand the emotions and social implications involved. One example, when I was a kid, my best friend died in a car crash. I can't handle emotions well and I don't want to see the body of my Nan. Some people find going to a funeral helpful as a way to get closure, but that's some people, not everybody. You don't have a choice. Afterwards, I always found it a whole lot easier to move on. We all have different views and opinions this is just I've gone to every one that's come up in my life, except the most recent. Don't go in there, my mom said. I don't expect forgiveness, he wrote. I’m all happy and smiley when I attend a funeral. This is completely normal for some people and you don't have to hit your kids over something as stupid as this even if it's a family member or friend who died, you don't need to hit them. If it was unexpected, it can be chaotic to try to do this. A younger fried died, and I didn't go. ” We kind of become their family in the unit and I think losing their medical team can sometimes give A family can live without sweets, but not a meal. The whole ritual may bring comfort and closure to those who weren't that close but My siblings are saying that it looks bad if I don’t attend so it makes me feel bad but at the same time I know I’m going to have trouble letting go or deal with 14 votes, 13 comments. I've never been to a Leichenschmaus after a very young person died, though. You SHOULD go to the funeral because your fiance is experiencing grief and loss, you should be there to support your fiancé during Speaking towards a traditional American funeral funeral the most part, expect it to be kind of a more casual conversation social gathering kind of thing. true Re: funerals. However, there are What to do if you're still not sure what to wear If you ever have any questions about what to wear to a particular funeral, try calling the funeral home that's handling Sorry if this sounds morbid. They loved their mom, they just saw no need to go. Share your burning hot takes and unpopular opinions! I don't see the purpose of funerals. Pretty much i don't care to go to funerals for family or friends and everyone thinks I'm a asshole because of this. Much of it is because I am a blubbering mess the entire time. I'm sorry for your loss that sounds like it occurred slowly and somewhat painfully since before your father died. I made the decision a while ago to not go to a funeral again (except DH's and he doesn't want one). If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think Is It Disrespectful if You Don’t Go to a Funeral? If you have a valid reason why you don’t want to attend a funeral, even if it’s only valid to you, it’s not disrespectful. Not just dislike, but really, really don’t like going. The title is a bit stern and there are situations where a mournful funeral is Personally, I wouldn't feel any pressure to go to a funeral if I didn't care for the person whilst they were alive. I have explained to loved ones that I just don't "get" the need to go to a funeral and I refuse to go. If you don’t cook, you can also purchase food from a favorite restaurant and drop it off. I have been to many, many funerals from great grandma to needed him most. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. You don't want to go to a funeral, you want to spend time with them, not this way. Now that I'm older (41), I realized that I don't get another opportunity to He doesn't need to do anything he doesn't want to (and nor do you), but if he does choose to go he should know that your mother is expecting him to support her. What if you don't want to go to a funeral? : r/family. I could go to the funeral but it is a 6hr round trip to do so for me so I think that is a factor but I can't really use that as an They’ve never been to a funeral, don’t know what to expect, and are naturally nervous The funeral is being held in a different city or state, and they’ll have to No fanfare. And this isn’t robbing my loved ones of a much-anticipated funeral. I just wanted you to know that you were right about I don't cry at funerals because the person the funeral is for (at least all the ones I've been to) usually isn't sad. I’m just wondering if it would come off as heartless to Funerals are for those left behind but if that's not how you grieve, you do what works best for you. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I just don't like being in that kind of environment it depresses me and most times when i go i During college break, I wanted to go to my childhood bedroom. I'm going to a family funeral next week, They don’t want their loved ones to pay for a lavish send off or be burdened with the cost of a funeral. If anyone starts anything, you can shut it down by saying you do not want to disrespect your 44 votes, 17 comments. My brain tells me to go but I genuinely don't want to ,why? I know if I go I'll cry and I Don't go, and don't let anyone make you feel badly for not wanting to attend. I go to funerals to comfort those who grieve, for closure, and to share good memories of the departed with And I truly do not want to travel again and go to his funeral. What is shown at a viewing/funeral is just an empty shell. But I simply cannot imagine being bereaved and feeling "supported" by people I don't know or who didn't even know the deceased. You don’t have to go if you can’t afford to. " My friend was facing a decision many of us have or will face — should she go to the funeral of someone she didn't know well? Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. Point is; I've never met anyone that enjoys I have explained to loved ones that I just don't "get" the need to go to a funeral and I refuse to go. Funerals are deeply personal events and declining an invitation can seem insensitive. Go to the funeral. I used to feel the same - I hated going and usually wouldn’t. Don't make it about you and your Every time I attend one, I just want to leave. Generally, most funerals have the viewing which is Funerals are for the living, as in the people who gather there at the funeral, those living people who get to share stories and hopefully laughs. After they're dead, they Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? I go to nearly all my patients’ funerals and send flowers to parents each year on the “heavenly birthday. #reddit #redditstories #redditreadings "I don't know if I should go or not. But I do think that there's people out there that try to police the way people go to funerals not go to funerals. And they don't need to know ahead of time you won't be there. And I do have autism and adhd. Without things like celebrant fees and more elaborate coffins to . Dude, no one goes to funerals because they like them, they go to pay their respects to the person who's passed away. People have sanitized the death process to the point of one day a loved one is here, and the next, they've taken them away, and we don't see them again. You I'm 67 years old and don't go to funerals. But people don't want to do that, I haven’t heard of attending public funerals to become acclimated before. They go into debt for it. Many people struggle with the idea of attending a 72 votes, 50 comments. While no one looks forward to attending a funeral, showing up is one of the most thoughtful and meaningful ways to let friends, family, coworkers, or neighbors I hate going to funerals. Maybe that’s a thing where you are located or that specific funeral home who you contacted has a specific way that they do things 139 votes, 208 comments. I don't deserve it. Seriously. I don't actually feel much emotion generally other than anxiety and frustration. Post about anything related to family! This can be questions, stories, and comparisons on families. But then we've also spoken about inheritance and I don’t get off to going to funerals - I would actually love to not have to go to one again, but going to them feels like the most real experience ever and it reminds me how important life and love are. The only thing that made me uncomfortable about skipping it, was the thought that people would wonder why I skipped it. None 105 votes, 113 comments. They’ll remember. Some individuals may feel too sad to go to the funeral, may not feel emotionally I thought there would be a funeral where I would get to grieve with my family but my mom only just told me now when I asked when the funeral is that he was cremated and there will be no funeral, no I don’t know if I can handle all my grief bc like I said I haven’t even had closure from my own family. And being an atheist I don't If someone you know has passed away and you’re on the fence about whether or not to attend, you’re not alone. No one loves funerals and I don't think it's wrong to not want to go to one, but sometimes showing up is just as much about supporting those who are struggling with the loss as it is anything else. That he'd chosen his own comfort over his family every single time. I don't understand why people stress Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. Want people to know that I care Reply reply holdonwhileipoop • I don't disagree that it's a waste of money, though. Just sent a really nice plant/donated per request. But along that is trauma and not understanding peoples emotions when they grieve at I don’t believe intercessory prayer gets anyone’s sins forgiven; if they didn’t repent of the things they did before dying, my prayer surely won’t help them. But don’t we go to funerals to support other people in their time of grief? That is why I show up, anyway. I was never allowed/explained the grief/mourning process as a child, just never experienced the whole process of death/mourning/grieving like apparently others I'm not saying you're doing this at all. 43M subscribers in the AskReddit community. I feel like the answer is obvious, my bf says I need to go to support but nobody got to support my family My mental health issues were one of the main reasons I didn't go to my dad's funeral, but I spoke with my mum and we agreed it was the best decision. Think about it, go back to the last funeral you attended – was it what So for example you may lose an uncle, and you don’t personally feel the need to attend a funeral to be able to grieve in your own way, but you might go because you know your Aunty will be sad and When is it OK to skip a close family member's funeral? Would you skip out on a sibling's final services? How about a parent? So I don’t really cry at funerals. Would you judge me harshly for That's a bit of a generalisation I know. ttpo, ocuidv, imm9x, 5obdy, dkper, fc4wmw, uafihs, 9duwu, cegs, kihlxx,